Doubt.

Doubt.
It keeps creeping
Into the cracks of my mind.
It is the eye of the storm,
Calm and gentle
But bringing promises of destruction.

The more I try to shrug it off,
To think no more about it
Then I do passing a person on the street,
The more powerful it becomes.
The more my mind becomes engulfed
In this simple idea,
In this simple thought,
In this simple feeling.

My sleep wavers,
My steps broken,
Every breath screaming,
“What if….?”,
“Would it happen….?”,
“No, it’s not possible… right?”.

The laugh and joy of others
Can’t stop it’s harassment.
And alone in the cold and dark
Only magnifies it’s power.

What if this is the life
I am fated to live?
To be forever apart
From every other human being.
To never know what it is like
To walk down that aisle.
To only be watching through
A window of my own.
Seeing and believing
That these things do happen,
But not to me.
Not anymore.
For I ruined my chance
By doubting you,
And doubting myself,
And letting that doubt
Consume me whole.